Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
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Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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