I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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