that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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