How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
