I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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