Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
