btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
