therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
