Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
