Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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