I love black thongs
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
