So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
my poor anus
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
