we have officially lost it.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
