32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
