can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
