don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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