I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
