I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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