I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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