Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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