This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
