And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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