I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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