I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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