Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
