There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
