I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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