I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
