First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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