i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
