Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
