Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
