honey bunches of taint.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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