please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Vodka?
Forever.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My penis needs a shock collar
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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