Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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