My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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