How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
