she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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