worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
