I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
