Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize