what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
