here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
