I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
