guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
