That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
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oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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