She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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