I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
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Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
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if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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