He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
