Porn is love you can see.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
