You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
