Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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