Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
