I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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