Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wish my penis had an off switch
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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