i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
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In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
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you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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