Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There are leaves in my underwear?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
