dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
