i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.