THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I met the friendliest cop last night
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
