no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
