am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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