The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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