just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
