just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
